


let them go and fade into light

by Anonymous



Series: running on empty [3]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening
Genre: Character Death, F/F, Gen, One-Sided Relationship, Platonic Relationships, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-30
Updated: 2015-04-30
Packaged: 2018-03-25 21:39:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3825970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p></p><blockquote>
  <p>What foolishness, Velanna realises, to think together they could cheat the small chances of death hiding around every corner.</p>
</blockquote>
            </blockquote>





	let them go and fade into light

**Author's Note:**

> Are you ever about to go to bed and then go 'how about I write deathfic instead'?
> 
> I didn't want to write something just for the angst, because to be honest, that is not my strong suit. But the idea of Sigrun and Velanna dying together has come up in my fic and drabbles before, so I assumed that maybe if I write it, it won't appear again. (It's probably going to, anyway.)
> 
> Also, I like Sam ([leliaana](http://leliaana.tumblr.com/)) yelling at me.

She had promised. She had promised Sigrun that neither of them would die alone, and she had meant it, _believed_ it, back then.

What foolishness, Velanna realises, to think together they could cheat the small chances of death hiding around every corner. Of course she had been wrong.

Not that lamenting her mistakes changes anything now, with the sticky blood drying on her face under the bright hot sun of the Fereldan summer, burning the skin on her nose and arms. (It doesn't matter, not anymore, a little sunburn won't kill her - the blood loss, however, will do just that.)

Everyone else she travelled with must be dead by now. Maybe some of them had managed to flee - she hopes they did, they were young recruits, some of them not yet of age - but it's just a vague hope, one that will die with the rest of her.

There aren't many things she regrets, all things considered - small ones, like not writing in her journal more, not filling it with stories for her people, new and old, like a true Keeper should have (it's soaking in blood, washing away the ink, collected over decades with a careful hand). Big ones, like not searching for Seranni.

Like leaving Sigrun behind even though she promised not to.

Not that she has a choice now - she wouldn't be bleeding out in a cornfield on her own if she did. But she- somehow she had assumed that neither of them would find death in the line of duty (it's a thing that happens to other people, but not to them, never to them; except that it is happening, right this moment), that they could go on their Calling together, with grey in their hair and honour to their names.

So much for that.

Instead, she did not even manage to save the other Wardens or slay their attackers. Attackers that had not even be darkspawn, but people, who had slaughtered them simply for passing by.

If she's honest - she always is, to herself, and there's nobody else here to lie to - she doesn't want to die. Velanna had expected a few more years. Not many, but a few. Enough to make peace with the idea of letting out her last breath surrounded by stone and darkness, instead of closing her eyes with the view of the sky.

Well. She's getting a nice view of the midday sun, at least. Maybe, with some luck, her body will be found before it starts smelling and attracting the local wildlife. She's not sure if anyone would be willing to bury her body the proper way, but it would be nice.

Breathing is becoming more difficult, every raise and fall of her chest pulling at the hole gaping in her side.

Somebody is going to have to tell Sigrun. Somebody is going to have to identify whatever will be left of her and tell Sigrun, who is going to be alone, because everyone else is dead, or gone away. Velanna is not as foolish as to believe that Sigrun isn't capable of handling herself, but that does not mean she wants her to be on her own, either.

(She aches, all of a sudden, for one more time with Sigrun. It's another regret, one of missed opportunities and cowardice. _I'm sorry,_ she wants to say, _I'm sorry I'm leaving you alone and I'm sorry I broke my promise. And I'm sorry for never telling you that I love you, because I should have and now it's too late. You were the best friend I could have wished for. I'm glad I had you._ )

Seranni isn't even going to know. (Perhaps, she also would not care if she did. It wouldn't be that surprising.) There is nobody to tell her, not even a way to contact her - it's what she wanted. After that one day in the Deep Roads so many years ago, Velanna had never seen her again. Despite searching every shadow, every trick of the light for her sister.

Just as well.

There's nothing left to fight for. She's not strong enough to look for other survivors. Nobody is there to hear her last words, either - not that she, precisely, has any.

What would she even say? An apology to Sigrun, for breaking her promise? An apology for failing, getting the recruits killed? No. Velanna does not want to die saying sorry.

So she doesn't.

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from Chasing The Dragon by Epica (again). I just don't want Silviya ([silviya7](http://silviya7.tumblr.com/)) to be able to listen at it without getting sad, is all.
> 
> You know when you are like 'so I'm going to kill my fave character and also make my OTP for this fandom be unrequited' and regret everything? Because I regret everything.
> 
> Special thanks, as always, to Carol ([aroaceclints](http://aroaceclints.tumblr.com/)), who was so kind as to beta this and then yelled at me. She's not even in the fandom.


End file.
